Moving Foods, Episode 2: "Fried Rice"

Sorry, sorry, internet connectivity issues yesterday. But it's Thursday, and that's close enough, right?

What happens when you can't buy groceries because you're moving and you're down to several types of rice, some frozen vegetables, "food" that doesn't appear to expire within a reasonable amount of time, and what may be every type of condiment on the planet? Your meal planning gets real interesting. Or, sometimes, even though you have no idea what you're doing, it makes something totally normal, and even good.

I'm putting this picture first so you are enticed and read on.

Today's recipe is "Fried" Rice. I say "fried" because I don't actually know how to make fried rice, I just know how to make something that is a close physical imitation of it- like those people who make the burgers in fast-food commercials. Here is my attempt.


For 2-3 servings, you will need:

• 1 Cup White Rice
• Vegetable or Olive Oil
• Frozen carrots, peas, and broccoli 
• 1 Onion
• 1-2 Eggs
• Soy Sauce

1. Measure out your preferred type of rice, make according to the directions on the package. I use brown rice, and I like to add about a teaspoon of oil to the water so that the rice doesn't stick to the sides.
2. While the water boils and the rice cooks, chop the onion and dice up the broccoli tops. Sauté on a higher heat setting in about a Tablespoon of oil in a large frying pan or wok. I don't know if you're supposed to do that, but it worked and no one died, soooooo
3. Reduce heat to medium once onions are translucent. Step 3b, Question if you are doing this correctly.
4.  The rice is probably done by now, so remove from heat and stir to lessen chance of losing half of your rice to a fate of being stuck to the pot.

   

   Mmmm... delicious ambiguity

5. Crack and whisk your eggs in a bowl. Or, alternatively, use something like this "liquid egg product" that I found in my fridge and have absolutely no recollection of recently purchasing.
6. Scramble eggs ("eggs") in a smaller, greased pan on low heat. 
7. Fluff rice with a fork and then add to the larger pan or wok with vegetables. Add carrots if you have not already.  
8. Pour 2-3 tablespoons of oil over rice and vegetables, mix thoroughly. Again, question if you are doing this correctly, along with all of your other life choices.
9. When rice begins to take on "fried" appearance, mix in scrambled eggs, add 1-2 tablespoons of soy sauce and reduce heat to a simmer.

Not bad considering I had no idea what I was doing!

This pseudo-series will have a theme- me throwing things together that were in my pantry. It probably could probably also have some heavy-handed implicit (or explicit) metaphor attached to it, that boiling rice and mixing it with vegetables and oil and vegetables and praying for the best is a lot like life. And it is a lot like life, but that's also a little too heavy for food blog that's full of self-deprecating jokes and recipes found in the depths of the internet.

The point of this recipe is that even if you question whether something is the "right" thing to do, cooking is fun, and sometimes it's fun to go off-roading, to experiment, to try new things and see if they work out well. And luckily for me, this recipe did, and I've had it several times since I initially made it, including bringing leftovers to work for lunch and having a woman waiting to use the microwave compliment how good it smelled. That's a win in my book!

Next week, we will return to recipes that could just be called  "chicken + crock pot = delicious" with slow cooker fajitas, as instructed/inspired by one of those viral Facebook recipe videos from Tasty. Until then, thank you for reading, and I hope enjoyed this slightly subdued post. A reminder that for the rest of March, I will be posting once per week, (and most likely!!) on Wednesdays. I will return to the biweekly, Tuesday and Thursday schedule in April. If you have any comments or suggestions for me, please feel free to post below or send them to dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com.

Moving Foods: A Series - Buffalo Pulled Chicken Sandwiches

Quickest update ever- I moved. I completed my internship and graduated and I moved across the country to a city I'd never spent more than two weeks in. I moved and got a job and a dog and survived my first southern "winter storm" and did a milk-and-TP-and-bread run and I love every bit of my life here.

I also just moved into what will hopefully be one of my last temporary living situations. See, in the last three years, I have moved a grand total of seven times (eight times if you count the two times I moved all of my belongings into a storage unit between leases as .5 a move). I'd like to think that I've become an expert on moving- there's a timeline that's full of procrastinating and packing and repacking and trying use up all the food in the house so that I don't have to move it.

That's what today's recipe is- I had buffalo sauce, frozen chicken breasts, and some of those random seasoning packets that just seem to appear out of thin air, and I magicked it into an edible recipe! Here we go, let's see if I remember how to do this.

For this recipe, you will need:

• 2-3 Chicken breasts (will make 6-8 sandwiches)
• 1 Ranch dressing packet
• 1 cup Buffalo Sauce
• Hamburger buns
• Crumbled blue cheese 

1. Remember to defrost chicken. I know, you're all saying BECCA YOU HATED USING BAG CHICKEN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU shhhhhhh. It's fine, totally fine. I have made peace with frozen, in-a-bag chicken and I actually prefer using it in slow-cooker recipes now. 
2. Rinse and trim said chicken. 
3. Place chicken breasts in a clean mixing bowl, cover with ranch seasoning. Turn chicken breast over and repeat. If using only two chicken breasts, I would try and use only about 1/2 the packet on this step. Save 1/4-1/2 of the packet for later. 

   

   Me, failing to pour ranch seasoning uniformly
4. Place chicken breasts in your slow cooker, then pour on 1 cup of your buffalo sauce of choice, or until all chicken is nearly submerged. 

   

   ~Artsy Picture of me pouring buffalo sauce onto raw chicken~

5. Put on the lid, set some sort of timer for somewhere between 3-4 hours (low) or two hours (high). Then walk away and watch TV or do homework or do chores or finish unpacking like you've been telling your parents you will for at least two weeks now. 
6. Just kidding. About halfway through the total cook time, go ahead and give it a stir, just to make sure that it doesn't burn. 
7. 
   
8. At the end of your desired cook time, remove the chicken breasts and shred on a plate. Reintroduce to buffalo sauce. Guys I'm getting so good at shredding chicken, it's unreal. Definitely my "Most Improved Skill" since starting this blog over a year and a half ago. 

   

   No but seriously, I'm getting so good at shredding chicken.

9. Pour in the rest of the ranch dressing packet now that chicken is shredded for maximum flavor (I mean, if you want, I'm not the boss of you) and give it a few more stirs before serving.

   

   Finished product, sans celery because of reasons

"Sherried" Tomato Soup

That moment when you forget to press "publish" instead of "save." Whoops.

For my last girls night in with Jen in Winona, it was rainy, cold, and gross. To combat this, Jen and I decided to make a soup we had the opportunity to try at a massive soup tasting earlier in the year- Sherried Tomato Soup!

Now, I love tomatoes, I love soup, and I love things cooked with wine. This combines all three into one of the most amazing soups I've ever had in my life, and conveniently slingshotted it to the top of my "favorite foods" list.  What I love about it is that the recipe is easy, makes plenty of servings (great to freeze!) and tastes great with a grilled cheese. I also like that thanks to the vegetables, it has a more varied texture than your run-of-the-mill tomato soup, making it more enjoyable to eat.

For this recipe, you will need:

• 1 Medium Onion
• 6 Tablespoons of Butter
• 2 14.5 oz cans of Diced Tomatoes
• 46 oz of Tomato Juice
• 3-6 Tablespoons of Sugar
• 1 Tablespoon of Chicken Bouillon
• Ground Pepper
• 1 Cup Cooking Sherry, OR Regular Red Wine
• 1 1/2 Cups Heavy Cream or Half and Half
• 1/4 Cup Fresh Basil, chopped

1. Melt 6 Tablespoons of Butter in a large stock pot on medium heat. While you're waiting for that, it's a perfect time to...
2. Dice the onion, and add to melted butter. Cook until translucent.  Also, make sure to dice them smaller than you would normally, almost a mince, because no one wants a huge piece of onion in their spoon of soup.  
3. Once the onions have been effectively sautéed, add both cans of diced tomatoes. Be careful to add it slowly, because it will splash and hot butter hurts. I may or may not be speaking from experience. 

   

   After adding the diced tomatoes and onions!

4. Stir to combine, and then add the Tomato Juice. See above. 
5. Add 3 to 6 Tablespoons of sugar, based on taste preference and the acidity of your tomatoes. I used 6 tablespoons since I was using a bottle of red wine that had only been open for one day. 
6. Stir to combine, add black pepper to taste, and then let cook for about five minutes. 
7. Add in one cup of red wine. I am not a fan of cooking sherry, so every time I've made this I've substituted red wine. 
• Most recently, I used "Rich Red Blend" from Barefoot (it was on sale!). Because you're using so much, definitely leave the bottle out open on the counter for at least one (if not- and preferably- longer) night. 
• If using wine, add in about 1/4 cup of water per cup of wine, and 1 extra Tablespoon of sugar



After adding wine (I'm bad at remembering to stir)

• It WILL smell strongly, and taste strongly if you don't cook it out as long as possible. 
8. Let cook for about ten minutes, stirring occasionally. 
9. Slowly integrate the cream, stirring as you go. I used half and half, because I didn't want it to be quite so thick. 

The finished product!

10. Reduce heat almost all the way, and let simmer for an    additional ten minutes. Stir in fresh basil as a garnish. While the soup is simmering, it's the perfect time to make a good old-fashioned grilled cheese, or toast up some bread. 

OPTIONAL: When Jen and I made this, we used her immersion blender to mix our soup one final time so we wouldn't have quite so many chunks. The soup is great without it, but depending on your preferences, this could be preferable. 

Jen's snazzy blender

This soup is perfect for a cold spring or fall day. It's my new favorite tomato soup, toppling the long-reigning champ, Panera's creamy tomato soup. The large quantity means it's perfect to feed it a family, and perfect to save for later- I have four two-serving freezer bags waiting for me for my work lunches after I start next week. 

If you're concerned about the wine, feel free to add half of the amount listed, or cook it out for longer. Also, feel free to add whatever spices you want- on my most recent attempt, I got a little crazy and added basil, chives, and some oregano, along with double the pepper I normally do, and it was wonderful! 

Tomorrow I'll be posting on how to make my Dad's famous Chicken shish kabobs, which he makes for almost every summer barbecue and family gathering we go to, and are always a hit. If you have any suggestions for a recipe or technique I should try, please email me at dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com or comment below! Thank you for reading! 

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

Life is funny. 

I have had the esteemed pleasure of inheriting a few particular family traits: organization, meticulous planning, and research skills that would make an obsessed stalker who hunts through trash concerned.   It is because of all of these things and more that I was able to graduate high school early, start college early, and, as of May 8th (pending completion of my internship this summer), graduate college with a four year degree in only two and a half years. 

See, I like to be in control, which, if you've ever met me, seems obvious. I like to be in control and to know all of my options, to have a fully formed plan, and beyond that, fully formed plans B through ZZZ, Alpha through Omega. 

In October, when I started this blog, I had a very clear picture of how my final academic semester of college was going to go. In the days leading up to the end of winter break, I had every hour of my hypothetical day, hypothetical week, and hypothetical month laid out in neat, color-coded cells in a spreadsheet. I was going to have scheduled time to do homework, be able to juggle two jobs on top of a full school schedule, to swim before class every day, and be able to be in bed by 10:00 PM, a feat I have not accomplished since middle school. And of course, by the end of the second week of school, it all went to crap. 

I made it through the semester alive, obviously. I passed all my classes and made it to the gym as I was able and usually went to bed before midnight. But, as with all of the best laid plans, some things slid lower on the priority list. I procrastinated on my homework. I neglected my "grownup" chores. I traded my culinary progress for instant mac and cheese. And I have no excuse.

Life rarely goes as planned. And this semester especially, I learned that if you attempt to plan it out as far and as intensely as I have, be it for one semester or for thirty years, it is inevitable that your plan will crumble to pieces. But that does not have to be a bad thing. 

In many ways, my final semester was my most educational. I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I am not a morning person. I learned that I make a mean instant mac and cheese. I learned that it's important to own rain boots, something I forget at the end of every spring until the convenient return of the season the following year. But I also learned that it is important to be someone outside of school, or alternatively, outside of work. This semester, I made time for friends, and for activities and hobbies that weren't school-related. I took weekend trips. I played mini golf. I watched Bones. I went out. But I also felt crippling panic whenever someone brought up my coming graduation, and the pressure of "real life" that would come along with it.

In high school, I took a class called Rhetorical Analysis of Media, in which we spent what felt like a month analyzing the film "The Graduate", dissecting the nuances and directional choices in two or three minute increments over the course of several weeks. I loved the film, but found it difficult to identify with the lead character, Benjamin Braddock, as he navigated his first summer post-college, especially as Benjamin has no response to the question "what's next?". At the time, I was a naive, idealistic high school junior who thought she knew everything. I couldn't comprehend how anyone couldn't have their entire future planned out. Now, I feel quite differently. 

And so, while I'm not going to embark on an affair with the spouse of one of my parent's business partners, or then crash the wedding of the child of the person I'm having an affair with and subsequently run off with that child, I'm going to try and take a hint from Benjamin Braddock this summer. I've spent my two weeks of "break" doing just that- taking a much-needed break from the intensity of responsibility. I have frittered away my time in the best possible way. I have gone to the gym. I have read. I have laughed. I have gotten sunburnt. I have spent time with friends, with my dogs, with my family. And I have spent some much-needed time with myself, simply existing, not planning. 

Having a plan is great, and I do have one. But, unlike every other plan I've ever concocted, it does not extend further than the next three months. 

This summer, I have the tremendous honor of interning at a local law firm for one of the most intelligent men I have ever met. I plan on going to go into the city that I have the luck of living incredibly close to, a city I took for granted before college, and missed terribly while in Minnesota. I plan on taking advantage of the gift that is our public library, because it has been way too long since I had the privilege of reading for fun. I plan to spend time with my family, because after all, it's hard not to spend time with people you have to schedule shower times with. 

And finally, I plan to cook. A lot. I can not even begin to describe how much I have missed cooking new things, the dependability of cooking on a schedule, and posting to this blog. Thank you for your patience, and I can't wait to see what this summer brings in terms of broadening my culinary horizons!

As in the fall of 2014, Don't Expect Miracles will update twice weekly, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you have any suggestions for a recipe or cooking technique I should try, please email them to dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com or comment below. I truly appreciate all of your support and your suggestions. Tomorrow, I will post my last great home-cooked meal in Winona- Sherried Tomato Soup and (yet another!) Gourmet Grilled Cheese! If you can't tell, I like bread and cheese-based foods. Thanks for reading!

Creamy Buffalo Penne

Hopefully now I have my life back together- so sorry for last week. I was sick and generally, when you're sick, the last thing you want is to make real food.

I could show you my super-secret recipe for canned chicken soup from the microwave, saltine crackers and sprite, but something tells me that no one wants to see that. 

However, with enough rest I was feeling loads better this weekend, and was able to do some cooking I am actually quite proud of, and will share with you this week! First off, Buffalo Chicken Penne. 

This recipe was both simple and challenging. It required me to do a lot of things that I had never done before- boiling and shredding chicken, making a cream sauce, minimizing the number of pans I used (five, due to a lot of mis-measuring on my part). However, when it was all done, this dish was delicious.

You will need: 

1 pound of Chicken Breasts, either halved or cubed

1 package (8 oz) of Cream Cheese  

1/3 cup (or more!) of Buffalo Sauce

1/2 cup of Chicken Broth

1 tsp of Paprika

1/2 tsp of Black Pepper

1 tsp of Garlic Powder

1/2 tsp of Kosher Salt

3/4 cup (or more!) of Blue Cheese Dressing

12 oz (about 3/4 of a box) of uncooked Penne Pasta

Green Onions (to taste)

Red Pepper Flakes (to taste)

1. First, take the chicken, put it in a medium pot, fill with enough water to cover the chicken, cover, and bring to a boil until the chicken is no longer pink (170 degrees Fahrenheit)
• For boneless, skinless breasts that aren't cut, it should take 15-20 minutes to fully cook
• For two-inch chunks, it should take around 10 minutes. 
• My battle with the Walmart chicken breasts has been well-documented on this blog. However, I finally worked through that bag, making it possible for me to buy new chicken which looks, cooks, and tastes a million times better! (Thank you Hannah for introducing me to Trader Joes!)
2. While the chicken boils, boil the pasta according to the instructions on the box. It's pasta. If you don't know how to make pasta... well, I know how to make pasta. You'll be fine.
3. Now for the sauce. Melt the 8 oz of cream cheese, 1/3 cup of buffalo sauce (or more! READ: MORE) and 1/2 cup of chicken broth in the largest pan you have. I used both a 12", and then a 13" omelette pan. Also, I didn't even know you could melt cream cheese. You learn something new every day! Stir every thirty seconds. 

   

   The sauce after simmering

4. Once the cream cheese is fully melted, add in 1 tsp of paprika, 1/2 tsp of black pepper, 1 tsp of garlic powder, 1/2 tsp of kosher salt. Stir in and let the sauce simmer on low heat for five minutes. 

   

   Before mixing in the bleu cheese

5. Add in 3/4 cup of bleu cheese dressing to the sauce. Stir in and let simmer for another ten minutes. 
6. By this time, the chicken and the pasta should both be done. Turn off the heat, and drain the pasta in a colander. 
7. Remove Chicken with either tongs or a slotted spoon. Place on cutting board, and shred with two forks. Another first! It is just as it sounds- as long as you work while the chicken is hot, it will shred easily.
8. Add the shredded chicken and the the penne to the sauce, mix in and let simmer for five minutes. I had to switch to the larger pan I had at this point- too much food in one space.
9. Add sliced green onions and crushed red pepper flakes to the top to taste and enjoy!

   

   All mixed together

The original recipe says that this serves two. Look at that last picture. There is no way that this serves two. Maybe two squared. Maybe even two cubed. What matters is that this recipe makes a lot. Which is great for me- now I'll have leftovers for the next few days, or I can freeze it to eat down the line. 

Having been "cooking"- or attempting to do so- for the last three months, this is one of the first episodes where I didn't feel nervous. I just... cooked. And while the recipe was fairly simple, most of the things it required were things I didn't even know how to do three months ago. Not bad for one quarter of a year!

To everyone who's been reading, commenting, and suggesting tips and recipes, thank you so much! I truly appreciate it. I've really enjoyed this endeavor and look forward to seeing how I can improve in the next three months before graduation! If you have any suggestions for recipes or techniques to try, please don't hesitate to comment below or email me at dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!

Glorious Grilled Cheese

I almost made this post title VERY punny. I decided to spare you. You're welcome.

My first semester of college, the dining hall announced that April was "National Grilled cheese" month, and insisted on serving grilled cheese every day. Every. Single. Day.

Needless to say, grilled cheese seemed terribly unappetizing for a while. And by that, I mean for nearly the last two years. However, I re-embranced what is basically toast with pretend cheese on it over break, finding it one of the few things I intuitively could figure out how to make.

And then, I found a beautiful new version on pinterest: Pesto, Brie, and Red Pepper Grilled Cheese.

This grilled cheese was fairly simple to make, as are most grilled cheeses. It only requires a handful of ingredients and tastes gourmet. I did not follow the original recipe exactly, but it did give me the inspiration. Here's what I did:

1. Heat about 1 tbsp of oil in a pan on low heat.
2. Lightly oil one side of two slices of thick-cut artisan bread. I did this month's grocery shopping at Trader Joe's and their artisan bread is my new favorite. 
3. On one slice, spread about one tablespoon basil pesto on the non-oiled side.
4. On the other slice, spread as much brie cheese as your soul desires. For those who don't know, Brie comes with a white layer of mold around it, called a rind. The rind IS edible, and when eating it sliced, it's "the best part" according to some. However, it's all a matter of taste. I would recommend not putting the rind in the sandwich. 
5. Slice a large red bell pepper into quarters. Place about 1/4 of chopped red pepper onto the brie-spread slice. 
6. Assemble sandwich and place in the pan. 
7. Toast sandwich for a few minutes on each side until bread is golden brown, and cheese is melted. 
   
8. Enjoy your gourmet grilled cheese!

This recipe proved to me that something that has fancy ingredients does not always mean difficult. I will definitely be making this again- it was a fantastic spin on the Kraft-slice classic. If you have any suggestions for recipes or techniques to try, please don't hesitate to comment below or email me at dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!

Original Recipe: http://www.twopeasandtheirpod.com/brie-pesto-and-sweet-pepper-grilled-cheese/ 

Margherita Pizza!

My penultimate day of break, my Mom came home from work and said something she almost never does: Let's order a pizza.

Now, don't get me wrong. The DiVenere family loves pizza. I mean, it's pizza. It's just that usually, our pizza comes in the form of DiGiorno, not delivery. So of course, when my mother decided that we should order out, we had no idea where to order from. The debate over which wonderful Chicago pizzeria to call went on half an hour, until I realized... I can make a pizza. From scratch.

And so, with my family still hotly debating in the next room, I found a crust recipe on pinterest and went to work. Here it is!

First, the crust:

While most pizza doughs use yeast, I knew my family had none of it in the house, so I found a frequently repinned and well-rated recipe for a no-yeast dough. It turned out great- thin and crispy. I actually think that based on the consistency, this crust would be great if making a Chicago-style deep dish pizza.

Before Mixing

1. Combine 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, 2 3/4 tsp. baking powder, 1 tsp. salt, in mixing bowl. Toss together. 
2. Add 1 tbsp. olive or canola oil (I used olive) as well as 3/4 to 1 cup of water. 
3. Use a stand mixer with a dough attachment to mix on a medium speed until dough starts climbing hook.
4. After dough is thoroughly mixed (it won't be very sticky), knead on lightly floured surface for three to five minutes.
5. Roll out to desired thickness and place on pizza pan or stone. Someday I'll do a post with a much more thorough description of how to toss pizza dough, but today is not that day.



After Mixing

6. Set aside while you preheat oven to 400 degrees fahrenheit. 

The best part of making your own pizza is that you get to decide on the toppings. We didn't have any sauce in the house, so I decided to go with a Margherita pizza. 

For those who don't know, Margherita is sauceless, using chopped tomatoes in lieu of a sauce, real, whole-milk Mozzarella, and olive oil. When topping the crust:

• Brush a layer of olive oil onto the crust before adding the other toppings. 
  
• Slice and then chop the mozzarella so that the cheese is evenly distributed.
• Seed and chop your tomatoes. Do this by halving and then squeezing the tomato over a small bowl to catch the juice and seeds. Distribute evenly along crust.
• Add Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper to taste. 
• Place pizza in oven, bake for 15-20 minutes, or until edges are crispy and cheese is completely melted. 

When it's done, you'll have a beautiful, delicious pizza that looks gorgeous, like this: 

It was delicious, and took less than 45 minutes when it was all said and done. And, what's more, it tasted a million times better than your standard 30-minutes-or-less pizzas. Had we had it in the house, I would recommend drizzling balsamic vinegar after taking it out of the oven. I will definitely be making this again.

Now, I'm back in Winona, back in my own kitchen, and able to make sure I stick to a schedule. I'll be posting again on Thursday with a new, fancy twist on grilled cheese. If you have any suggestions for recipes or tecniques to try, please don't hesitate to comment below or email me at dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!

Update!

Breaks are hard. Somehow you have oodles of time and no time at all. That was the dilemma I faced during my last real break of my undergraduate. However, I did cook quite a bit over break- I just didn't post any of it. So here's a post full of pictures of some of the things I did make! I learned how to grill, made a metric ton of cookie dough, used a Spritz cookie maker, tossed Pizza dough in the air like a real Italian and got to use the beautiful new-to-me KitchenAid mixer my parents found me on Craigslist (best Christmas present ever!)

 
 

Cookie-Palooza 2014: The "Mother Dough"

Thanks to everyone who suggested recipes on Tuesday. All of them look and sound so delicious, and I will definitely be making them between now and the end of break.

I feel like cookies are an essential part of Christmas. I never really have as much of a taste for cookies  during the rest of the year as I do around the Holidays. And luckily for me, cookies are everywhere. With so many parties to go to, and so many of the invitations requesting I bring a dessert, I wanted to find a way to minimize how much baking I was doing, without having to bring the same, boring cookie to each party.

Behold, the "Mother Dough". Thank you, Google, for providing immediate results when I searched "One dough many cookies". I'd seen examples while perusing Pinterest, but had never looked into it until now. This particular recipe comes from Good Housekeeping, and serves as not only a standalone cookie dough recipe, but a base dough for eleven other recipes. It's not even limited to cookies! Due to ingredient limitations, I only made the standalone cookies, but I will include links to the others so you can see the potential of this recipe!

I'm just finding out now that my phone deleted almost all of the pictures from this project. Oh, technology. But either way, it's fairly self-explanatory.

1. In a stand mixer, beat one cup (two sticks) of butter, and 3/4 cup of granulated sugar on medium speed for about two minutes, or until creamy. My wonderful parents found me a beautiful KitchenAid mixer on craigslist as an early Christmas Present. Having a stand mixer made this recipe much more fun, and easier! 
2. Combine 2 and 3/4 cups of all-purpose flour, 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda, and 1/4 teaspoon of salt. 
3. After the butter and sugar are creamed (baking word!) add one egg, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract. Continue to beat on medium speed until well mixed. I can crack my eggs with one hand now, guys. It's progress. Also, I added a little more than a teaspoon- I like my vanilla. 
4. After well mixed, reduce speed to low, and add mixed dry ingredients in even increments until fully integrated. Beat in until just blended. 

And there you have it- the Mother Dough. For fluffier cookies, I chilled the dough for twenty-four hours before rolling out and baking it. 

For baking:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 
2. After chilling for twenty-four hours, take the dough and roll around in your hands to warm it slightly and improve the malleability. Maybe flour your hands for this. 
3. After slightly warmed, roll the dough out on a lightly floured surface with a lightly floured rolling pin. This dough is very sticky! When in doubt, use flour. 
4. Cut dough with cookie cutter of your choice and place on an non-greased cookie sheet. 
5. Place in oven and bake for ten to thirteen minutes, or until edges are golden brown.  
6. Let cool on wire rack.
7. Enjoy plain or with frosting and other edible decorations.

The end result is a delicious, fluffy, buttery cookie. Not only that, but as I said before, this dough serves as a base for eleven other recipes, including: apple pie rugelach, fruit bars, pinwheels, peppermint sticks, moon pies, gingerbread, Mexican wedding cookies, and even stained glass cookie ornaments. Hopefully, I'll find some time this break to try one of the other recipes!

Hopefully, this marks me being back on track. I've missed this little project in all of the end-of-semester chaos. If you have any suggestions for recipes or techniques to try, please don't hesitate to comment below or email me at dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com. I'll post again tomorrow with a similar cookie recipe that has a little bit of a twist- Spritz Cookies. Thank you for reading! 

Original recipe: http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/recipefinder/basic-cookie-dough-ghk1207 

One Dough, Twelve Recipes: http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/christmas-ideas/easy-holiday-cookie-recipes 

Thanksgiving!

I know, I know. It's been a while. Sorry. But don't worry, you get two recipes today!

I'm glad I have this blog (and apparently quite a few readers!) keeping me accountable. Otherwise, I honestly would've probably given up by now and resigned myself to a life of pasta and lean cuisines. But no time for that here!

Finals week is upon us-or at least the paralegal program. The week after Thanksgiving break is a very strange place in the semester for exams that can make or break grades, but I'm just glad it's almost over. Then I can get back to Chicago and take advantage of my parents' beautiful kitchen :)

Thanksgiving was an interesting, but fun experiment! I had the pleasure of making some of our Thanksgiving favorites with my Dad, because for the first time in my memory, we celebrated Thanksgiving with just our little nuclear family this year (another interesting- yet fun!- experience).

Here's one of the recipes from Thanksgiving!

First: They-might-contain-meth Mashed Potatoes!

You will need:

• 2 to 2 1/2 red potatoes for each person if not more. Trust me on this one.
• 1 cup of Sour cream
• 1 stick of Butter
• Salt
• Pepper
• Chives

1. Cut potatoes (leave skin on), boil in large stockpot for 30-35 minutes, or until tender.
2. Drain potatoes.
3. Place potatoes in a large mixing bowl, and mix on a medium speed until they have achieved a slightly more "mashed" consistency. Do not mix all the way. 

   

   After adding the butter
4. Cut stick of butter into pads, add to potatoes. Mix until integrated (that's a cooking word, right)
5. Now's the fun part! Add in the sour cream, chives, salt and pepper to taste. Mix in with the hand mixer until potatoes are smooth and toppings completely integrated. It doesn't sound fun, but it is, I promise. 

These potatoes were great. And now I know how to make them, so I don't have to beg my Dad to do it! 

Now, you've seen one of my Thanksgiving favorites. Let's see one of my Mom's!

My mother's personal favorite for Thanksgiving is fried cauliflower, a dish my Grandma has perfected. This year, as my Grandma would not be celebrating Thanksgiving with us, my Mom asked my Dad to figure out a recipe. I did my best to document that particular endeavor. 

You will need:

• 1 head of cauliflower
• 1 stick of butter
• Two boxes of bread crumbs. Or roughly three cups. Whatever.
• Four eggs

1. Cut butter into pads, distribute evenly in a sauté pan. Turn burner onto low-medium heat, allow butter to melt and coat bottom of pan. Guys, I know my pan types. Or at least the internet does. 
2. Cut the florets (cooking word!) off of the stalk of cauliflower, place to the side.
3. Crack eggs, whisk in a medium mixing bowl. Place breadcrumbs in a round cake pan. 
4. Coat floret in egg, roll in bread crumbs, and place in sauté pan. 
5. Continue until all florets are in pan. Increase heat to 3/4 power. Flip with tongs as needed. 
6. Once cauliflower is thoroughly fried, remove and enjoy!

This Thanksgiving was wonderful. I had tons of fun hanging out around the house with my family, seeing my cousins, and seeing friends from High School. I can't wait to be back in Chicago in two weeks for Christmas Break!

All of the delicious food we made

Having so much extra time on my hands, as soon as finals are over (December 9th!) I will be posting daily. I know, I know, I said that last week. But now I promise! And I have plenty of great ideas for the next month.  If you have any suggestions for recipes or techniques to try, please don't hesitate to comment below or email me at dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com. Thank you for reading! 

Our Beautiful Table (Thanks Mom!)

 From my family to yours, a very happy (and belated) Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Break is a mere 12 days away...

It's been a theme on my facebook feed lately- I've seen no less than fifteen posts of members of my graduating class who have been dipping their own toes into the world of food, and all of them made the same thing: Portillo's Chopped Salad.

It happens to everyone who leaves the northwest suburbs, as far as I can tell. You miss the food, the ever-present abundance of delicious, Italian-influenced food. And while the pizza places and the beef places and the hotdog places are all equally delicious and equally available, none is missed more by the transplanted Chicago suburbanite than Portillo's. 

What I, and apparently, the rest of my graduating class, miss the most is the famous chopped salad. I introduced my friend Jen to it when we visited Illinois in September and the first thing she said when I started this blog (right after "I'm so proud of you!" Thanks Jen!) was that I had to make the delicious salad we'd had.

The recipe I found online was enough for (as I realized after) ten servings. For my purposes, I divided it in half, and it still made enough to fill my largest mixing bowl. 

Here we go!

1. Cook four cups of ditalini pasta according to package instructions. Make sure you salt the pasta water while cooking to give it some flavor. Drain and cool. Set aside. For the love of God, and listen very carefully because I will never say this ever again, do not make that much pasta. Cut this in half when making the full recipe. Four cups is way too much. 

   

   Look at all that Ditalini

2. Cook bacon in a skillet until done. Let bacon cool, then crumble. It should be about one cup. I used one of the little bags of bacon bits. I have no idea how to fry bacon, what am I, a gourmet chef? That's a whole 'nother post waiting to happen. 
3. Combine three cups chopped romaine lettuce, three cups chopped iceberg lettuce, two and a half cups of chopped red cabbage in a bowl. Walmart didn't have red cabbage, but the other two worked fine. ALSO. After reading some comments on the original post, I saw someone who recommended using a pastry blender with actual blades at the end to chop and mix the lettuce and other ingredients together. While I did pre-chop the lettuce, the pastry blender was chopping it even further in the bowl, and great for mixing it all together.
   
   

   

   With the pastry blender

4. Add one cup sliced green onions and two fresh tomatoes, seeded and diced. So, I recently discovered that Netflix has other shows that aren't Gilmore Girls available. Cooking shows, even! So in the last week and a half, I've devoured the 25 episodes of Good Eats they have available, and one of them even went over how to seed a tomato. So tonight, when it said that in the recipe and I actually knew how to do it, I was ecstatic. I learned something new, guys!

   

   The tomato on the left is "seeded"
   Basically, you juice the tomato like a lemon.
   So easy!

5. Add one cup of gorgonzola cheese, cooled ditalini, and two cups cooked and diced chicken. You all have born witness to my battle with the Chicken from Hell. It did not cooperate for this recipe. Luckily, it's not required for this salad to be delicious!
6. Mix in dressing right before eating and enjoy!

The original poster also gives a recipe for the fancy sweet Italian dressing that makes this salad so delicious. It requires the following:

• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
• 2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup olive oil 

She directs that you place everything but the olive oil into a blender and then, while the blender is running, drizzle the olive oil through the blender tube until combined. I do not own a blender, so I could not do that. I did, however, combine everything in a large cereal bowl and whisked it until it thickened up a little, and it tasted fine!

End Result!

All in all, not quite as good as Portillo's, but pretty darn close. Now, I know that my favorite meal is easy to make, and my poor parents don't have to take me straight to Portillo's as soon as I cross the state line every time I come home. I mean, I'll probably still make them take me. Why not? :)

I will post again tomorrow because I was too full after eating this to move, much less cook another recipe. Luckily, I have all morning tomorrow! If you have any suggestions for recipes or techniques to try, please don't hesitate to comment below or email me at dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com. Thank you for reading!

Original Recipe: http://www.the-girl-who-ate-everything.com/2013/06/portillos-chopped-salad.html#LZB9fhW0SJOVW53d.99

The Chicken From Hell Returns!

Sorry about last week! I had an old friend from high school come visit and that threw my whole weekend preparation off. But, don't worry, I still had time to make some food!

Today's recipe contains the Chicken From Hell and is courtesy of my Grandma Jo. It's called Chicken Fiesta, and it's a four-ingredient recipe my grandma handed to me on a card the day I left Chicago to come back to school after summer break.

Ordinarily, it's made in a huge crock pot and feeds my sub-section of our enormous extended family. I don't have a crockpot big enough to feed an army of a small country, but I do have one of those tiny-baby crock pots. It's red. I love it, even if all I've used it for up to this point is to warm chili or italian beef while I'm at a night class.

This recipe took almost no time, almost no prep, and almost no thought. But it's delicious, and I will definitely make this again next time I have to be at class for six straight hours. Also, unfortunately iCloud confuses me and it would appear I deleted all the pictures I have of this. But again, very easy. You'll be able to figure it out. :)

Here's what you'll need!

• Eight chicken breasts, cubed. I used two. Probably could've gone with three. 
• Two cans of diced tomatoes. I used one. I eat tomatoes like candy.
• One can of corn, drained. I used one of the little itty-bitty cans. Next time, I'll go one further and use only half of that.
• One packet of taco mix. You might remember that I like things spicy. I used the full packet. #YOLO

The actual process of making this is simple.

1. Defrost chicken (it only took 26 hours this time, guys! Improvement!). 
2. Cut into cubes. Throw into adorable crock pot. 
3. Add diced tomatoes. 
4. Add Corn. 
5. Add taco mix. 
6. Stir to combine.
7. Place lid on crock pot, cook on low for 8 hours. Between the reduced yield (that's a cooking word, right?) and the smaller pot, mine was ready in about 4.  

And there you have it! Chicken Fiesta, ready to serve. It's delicious and warm and perfect with tortilla chips. You can even add sour cream or cheese to it, but it's so tasty, you don't have to!

Since I missed last Thursday, I'm going to be doubling up this Thursday. That's right folks, two posts for the price of one! I'm still not quite sure what I'm going to be making, but either way, it'll be an adventure. As always, please feel free to suggest meals or techniques you would like to see! I've appreciated every comment I've received. If you do have a suggestion or a question, or a hilarious youtube video of a cat you think I should see, please feel free to email me at dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!

Pull-Apart P i z z a B r e a d

Soooooo. Slight change of plans, because the Chicken From Hell took two full days to defrost again. Today's post will cover what I think will be a new staple in my apartment, albeit with some tweaking: Pull-apart Pizza Bread.

Have you ever heard of monkey bread? That delicious, rich, vein-clogging goodness that you make out of sugar and cut up grands biscuits and sugar and butter and sugar? Yeah. This is that, but with pizza, and it's easier to make and definitely easier to clean up.

Right, the pan thing! This recipe requires a special kind of pan- you want one that has the hole in the middle. I used an Angel Food Cake Pan from Walmart that cleaned up pretty nice after cooking. The special thing about it is that it has a removable section, so it's easy to get the cake (or monkey bread or pizza bread) out after it's been in the oven and glommed onto the pan. After using a pan that was all one piece to make monkey bread in high school, I would definitely recommend the two-piece model. And, even with having to buy the pan, this recipe was still pretty cheap and it made a LOT.

Here's how to make it:

1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Totally did that. I'm getting better at this "remembering to preheat the oven" thing.
2. Cut 2 packets of grands biscuits into quarters. Put into Angel Food Cake Pan or Bundt Pan. After the first package, I threw in some cheese so that there was an even cheese distribution throughout.  

   

   Ready to bake!
3. Cut pepperoni into smaller pieces. For this, I used turkey pepperoni because I find that it crisps up a bit more, and it's not quite as greasy. But don't stop with pepperoni- you can put any pizza topping you want into this pizza bread. Toss into pan with quartered biscuits. 
4. Mix in 1/3 cup olive oil, 2 tablespoons of Italian Seasoning, and as much cheese as the spirit moves you to. Mix all ingredients so that oil evenly coats each piece of dough. If you're using the two-piece pan, this can get a little messy, so be careful and make sure the pieces stay firmly together. 
5. Bake for about 30 minutes (or until top is brown and the center is thoroughly cooked). This is where we ran into some issues. My poor neighbor was forced to be my guinea pig, and I didn't realize until after I served it that there were some pieces that were still just a tad gooey. But, no worry. As far as I know, neither of died or got violently ill, so that's... a plus, right?
6. Flip over onto a plate while still hot. This is where the two-piece specialness helps a lot. The outer ring just slips off while the tube part stays in place and you can pluck it out. 

   

   Seriously, look at how good that looks.

7. Serve with a side of sauce and enjoy! I drizzled balsamic vinegar all over it, and it was divine, even with the gooey pieces.

Another extremely interesting cooking adventure on my end, yes. But this recipe was great. Thank you, Lynsey, for being such a trooper and sticking with me through this, I'm glad you didn't die from it :)

All in all, I'm going to have to mess around with the cooking times next time I make this. I worry that if I leave it in any longer, the top and outside will burn. But, this was a great, easy dish that would be great to bring to someone's house for game day or study night. Next time I make it, I'll try a different bake time, and I'll also add some more pizza toppings, like veggies! 

Hopefully the Chicken From Hell will be defrosted in time for Thursday's meal. It's been recommended that I try boiling it. I've never boiled meat of any kind before, so if I do that, it'll be a whole new kind of first. We'll see! 

I did go grocery shopping, and I was amazed at how much money I saved by making a list and an actual meal plan. I have a whole slew of fantastic meals planned for the next month, and I'm so excited! To those of you who have been reading, thank you for your support! I've appreciated every comment, every suggestion, and every encouragement. I'm always open to suggestions and I have a little bit of wiggle room! If you have any specific recipe or technique you would like to see, comment below or email me at dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com, and I will do my best to attempt it! Thank you for reading!

Here's the original recipe: http://sweetandsimpleliving.com/easy-pull-apart-pizza-bread/

Apple Dumplings... There's a theme here, can you tell?

Happy Halloween! Sorry for the delay in posting. We're down to the wire here, last few days of the month, and I still only have apples in my fridge.

Well, actually, now I don't even have that, because I used them. Good thing I get paid tomorrow, right? :)

Today, I made "Southern-style" apple dumplings. I deviated from this recipe a bit too, but not too much. And they were definitely delicious!

1. Use an apple cutter to core and cut an apple into eight slices. Peel the slices. This totally brought out the Montessori kid in me. I love my apple slicer- it was one of the things on my "must buy" list when I started college! However, I did totally forget to peel the slices- it didn't really affect the taste, though.
2. Open can of crescent rolls, and unroll. Place apple slice at one end of crescent triangle and roll up. I added some brown sugar and cinnamon to the inside of the crescent, to add some flavor to the apples. If you can't tell yet, I love brown sugar.

3. 

   Before rolling.

4. Place apple rolls into an 8x8 (of 9x9) greased pan. So far, the #1 thing I've learned about cooking is that lining the pan really helps with cleanup. Seeing as I was using another sugar-and-butter sauce, and soda in this recipe, I thought I should probably line the pan again. 

   

   It's OK if they're close together!

5. In a small bowl, melt 1 stick of butter, 3/4 cup of sugar, 1 1/2 tbsp of flour, and 1/2 tsp of cinnamon. This is the first time I used my microwave, which is a hand-me-down from my parents from when they got married. Because, of course, #safety and #radiationprotection. Also, this mixture turned out pretty thick. I triple-checked every measurement, because I thought that it was maybe too much. Next time I make this, I'm going to add a little butter and sugar, and maybe only do one tbsp of flour. I also added pumpkin pie spice, because I don't have regular cinnamon. 
6. Spoon mixture over each crescent. You're definitely going to need to spoon it, because it's too thick to pour. Also, next time I might just double the amount I make. Because of how thick it was, there wasn't enough to entirely coat each crescent.

   

   Before baking

7. Pour 6 oz of sprite in the open space in the middle of the pan, NOT over the crescents. He BOLDED that part of the instructions, so it seemed important.
8. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes, or until golden brown. I had to bake these the full 40 minutes, and then turned out great.

   

   All done!

   These were SO. GOOD. Almost better than the caramel apple blooming onion, but not quite. I would definitely double the sauce next time, but these tasted great. Fantastic warm, and even better cold this morning for breakfast. The sprite makes the bottoms a little soggy- you definitely need to put these in a bowl or a plate that's not entirely flat, like the plates I have, because they're a little runny. 

Today I'm going grocery shopping for the entire month of November. I have most of my recipes for the month planned out, but I'm always open to suggestions and I have a little bit of wiggle room! If you have any specific recipe or technique you would like to see, comment below or email me at dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com, and I will do my best to attempt it! I'll post again on Tuesday with an attempt at one of the staples of my extended family gatherings- a diet-friendly entree my Grandma calls "Chicken Fiesta". Thanks for reading!

Original Recipe: http://southernbite.com/2011/12/06/apple-dumplings/ 

Brrr... It's Chili Out!

Sorry. I know. The pun. It's bad.

In weather that could only happen in Minnesota, yesterday was a beautiful 75 degrees. Today was barely 40. Luckily, I had already planned to make chili tonight, which, as it just so happens, is my favorite thing to eat on cold days!

Last year, when I still lived in a dorm, my kitchen tools were limited to a single pot and an electric griddle, between the two of which I made nearly all of the food I ate that entire year. With my limited cooking talent and experience, that meant that I was eating some sort of pasta, or my dad's chili. When he sent me his recipe in September, I followed it exactly. As the year went on, I grew a little bolder- by my own standards, mind you- and changed it up. So today, I'll be giving you MY version of that recipe.

This recipe will make you more than two pounds of chili- more than enough. Tonight, I halved that, so the pictures will reflect a smaller amount. Usually I make the full amount, and freeze most of it so I can have it throughout the month.

For this recipe, you will need:

• 1 3/4- 2 Pounds of Ground Beef
• 2 Bell Peppers
• 1 Sweet Onion
• 1/2 cup of water
• 2 Packets of Taco Mix, whichever degree of spiciness you prefer
• 2 Packets of Fajita Mix
• 2-3 Tablespoons of Brown Sugar (wow, I use a lot of brown sugar when I cook...)
• 2 Cans of Diced Tomatoes

Optional: If you so desire, you can add in some beans. I am not a fan of beans in my chili, but my Dad uses them in his recipe. He recommends:

• 1 Can Beans
• 1 Can Kidney Beans

Let's get to the recipe.

1. Brown and ground beef in a large pan. Drain. Remember NOT to drain into the sink- pour the grease into the garbage over paper towels. Don't drain it entirely, either. You want a little bit of grease to still be in the pan. 
   
   
2. Transfer the beef to a large stockpot. Add in the peppers and onion, chopped. Usually I chop the pieces pretty roughly, until one day I realized I wanted smaller chunks, especially of the onion. For reference, here's the pepper I used today:

   

   Before you ask, yes, I washed the penny first
3. Set burner to a medium heat. Let sit for 5-10 minutes. Stir once a minute. If I'm using the full two pounds of beef, I let it sit for the full ten minutes. If I'm only using one pound, I will only let it sit for five.

   

   After adding the spice packets

4. Add the seasoning packets, pouring the water over them after all have been added to the beef. Stir. After the beef has changed color, mix in the brown sugar. I like my chili to be spicy, so I use a medium level spiciness, as well as mixing with the fajita mix. However, if you don't like this, you can decrease the spiciness or not add the full four packets. 
5. Decrease the heat by half. Let sit for 5-10 minutes. At this step, I let it sit for the full ten minutes, no matter how much beef I'm using.
6. Add both of the entire cans of diced tomatoes. Do not attempt to drain the water out of the can before adding. In tonight's attempt, the tomatoes were so red that there was no way they could have randomly occurred in nature. That made me feel safe. :) Mix into the chili.

   

   After adding the tomatoes.
   You can't tell how red it was from this picture...

7. Reduce to a low heat. Let simmer for 20 minutes. Again, no matter how much beef I'm using, I let it simmer for the full time. When you only use diced tomatoes, rather than also adding in tomato sauce (like my Dad does), the chili needs to thicken up, and this twenty minutes is perfect for that. 
8. Enjoy! Add your favorite chili topping, whatever it is. I've had this chili with Fritos, oyster crackers, cheese, sour cream, bacon bits- whatever floats your boat. Though, if I'm be honest, I prefer to eat it plain!

Optional: 

• Between steps 6 and 7 is when you would add both cans of beans, if you felt so inclined (yuck). 

This is my first personal recipe I've posted- hopefully, as I learn how to cook, there will be many more to come. I love making this chili, because it's nice to be able to cook something of substance, rather than pasta or break-and-bake cookies. If you freeze it, it's easy to reheat. Usually I'll either defrost it over a day while I'm at school and throw it in a pot for a few minutes with about 1/4 of a cup of water, or I throw it into my super-tiny crock pot (OK, I lied, I had three kitchen tools) on high for about two hours. Either way, it's just as delicious then as it is right after cooking!

The month ends this weekend, and because I thought ahead like an adult and made a plan, I have a whole bunch of recipes to try in November. I'll post again on tuesday with an attempt at one of the staples of my extended family gatherings- a diet-friendly entree my Grandma calls "Chicken Fiesta". If you have any specific recipe or technique you would like to see, comment below or email me at dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com, and I will do my best to attempt it! Thanks for reading!