Life is funny.
I have had the esteemed pleasure of inheriting a few particular family traits: organization, meticulous planning, and research skills that would make an obsessed stalker who hunts through trash concerned. It is because of all of these things and more that I was able to graduate high school early, start college early, and, as of May 8th (pending completion of my internship this summer), graduate college with a four year degree in only two and a half years.
See, I like to be in control, which, if you've ever met me, seems obvious. I like to be in control and to know all of my options, to have a fully formed plan, and beyond that, fully formed plans B through ZZZ, Alpha through Omega.
In October, when I started this blog, I had a very clear picture of how my final academic semester of college was going to go. In the days leading up to the end of winter break, I had every hour of my hypothetical day, hypothetical week, and hypothetical month laid out in neat, color-coded cells in a spreadsheet. I was going to have scheduled time to do homework, be able to juggle two jobs on top of a full school schedule, to swim before class every day, and be able to be in bed by 10:00 PM, a feat I have not accomplished since middle school. And of course, by the end of the second week of school, it all went to crap.
I made it through the semester alive, obviously. I passed all my classes and made it to the gym as I was able and usually went to bed before midnight. But, as with all of the best laid plans, some things slid lower on the priority list. I procrastinated on my homework. I neglected my "grownup" chores. I traded my culinary progress for instant mac and cheese. And I have no excuse.
Life rarely goes as planned. And this semester especially, I learned that if you attempt to plan it out as far and as intensely as I have, be it for one semester or for thirty years, it is inevitable that your plan will crumble to pieces. But that does not have to be a bad thing.
In many ways, my final semester was my most educational. I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I am not a morning person. I learned that I make a mean instant mac and cheese. I learned that it's important to own rain boots, something I forget at the end of every spring until the convenient return of the season the following year. But I also learned that it is important to be someone outside of school, or alternatively, outside of work. This semester, I made time for friends, and for activities and hobbies that weren't school-related. I took weekend trips. I played mini golf. I watched Bones. I went out. But I also felt crippling panic whenever someone brought up my coming graduation, and the pressure of "real life" that would come along with it.
In high school, I took a class called Rhetorical Analysis of Media, in which we spent what felt like a month analyzing the film "The Graduate", dissecting the nuances and directional choices in two or three minute increments over the course of several weeks. I loved the film, but found it difficult to identify with the lead character, Benjamin Braddock, as he navigated his first summer post-college, especially as Benjamin has no response to the question "what's next?". At the time, I was a naive, idealistic high school junior who thought she knew everything. I couldn't comprehend how anyone couldn't have their entire future planned out. Now, I feel quite differently.
And so, while I'm not going to embark on an affair with the spouse of one of my parent's business partners, or then crash the wedding of the child of the person I'm having an affair with and subsequently run off with that child, I'm going to try and take a hint from Benjamin Braddock this summer. I've spent my two weeks of "break" doing just that- taking a much-needed break from the intensity of responsibility. I have frittered away my time in the best possible way. I have gone to the gym. I have read. I have laughed. I have gotten sunburnt. I have spent time with friends, with my dogs, with my family. And I have spent some much-needed time with myself, simply existing, not planning.
Having a plan is great, and I do have one. But, unlike every other plan I've ever concocted, it does not extend further than the next three months.
This summer, I have the tremendous honor of interning at a local law firm for one of the most intelligent men I have ever met. I plan on going to go into the city that I have the luck of living incredibly close to, a city I took for granted before college, and missed terribly while in Minnesota. I plan on taking advantage of the gift that is our public library, because it has been way too long since I had the privilege of reading for fun. I plan to spend time with my family, because after all, it's hard not to spend time with people you have to schedule shower times with.
And finally, I plan to cook. A lot. I can not even begin to describe how much I have missed cooking new things, the dependability of cooking on a schedule, and posting to this blog. Thank you for your patience, and I can't wait to see what this summer brings in terms of broadening my culinary horizons!
As in the fall of 2014, Don't Expect Miracles will update twice weekly, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you have any suggestions for a recipe or cooking technique I should try, please email them to dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com or comment below. I truly appreciate all of your support and your suggestions. Tomorrow, I will post my last great home-cooked meal in Winona- Sherried Tomato Soup and (yet another!) Gourmet Grilled Cheese! If you can't tell, I like bread and cheese-based foods. Thanks for reading!
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