Moving Foods, Episode 2: "Fried Rice"

Sorry, sorry, internet connectivity issues yesterday. But it's Thursday, and that's close enough, right?

What happens when you can't buy groceries because you're moving and you're down to several types of rice, some frozen vegetables, "food" that doesn't appear to expire within a reasonable amount of time, and what may be every type of condiment on the planet? Your meal planning gets real interesting. Or, sometimes, even though you have no idea what you're doing, it makes something totally normal, and even good.

I'm putting this picture first so you are enticed and read on.

Today's recipe is "Fried" Rice. I say "fried" because I don't actually know how to make fried rice, I just know how to make something that is a close physical imitation of it- like those people who make the burgers in fast-food commercials. Here is my attempt.


For 2-3 servings, you will need:

• 1 Cup White Rice
• Vegetable or Olive Oil
• Frozen carrots, peas, and broccoli 
• 1 Onion
• 1-2 Eggs
• Soy Sauce

1. Measure out your preferred type of rice, make according to the directions on the package. I use brown rice, and I like to add about a teaspoon of oil to the water so that the rice doesn't stick to the sides.
2. While the water boils and the rice cooks, chop the onion and dice up the broccoli tops. Sauté on a higher heat setting in about a Tablespoon of oil in a large frying pan or wok. I don't know if you're supposed to do that, but it worked and no one died, soooooo
3. Reduce heat to medium once onions are translucent. Step 3b, Question if you are doing this correctly.
4.  The rice is probably done by now, so remove from heat and stir to lessen chance of losing half of your rice to a fate of being stuck to the pot.

   

   Mmmm... delicious ambiguity

5. Crack and whisk your eggs in a bowl. Or, alternatively, use something like this "liquid egg product" that I found in my fridge and have absolutely no recollection of recently purchasing.
6. Scramble eggs ("eggs") in a smaller, greased pan on low heat. 
7. Fluff rice with a fork and then add to the larger pan or wok with vegetables. Add carrots if you have not already.  
8. Pour 2-3 tablespoons of oil over rice and vegetables, mix thoroughly. Again, question if you are doing this correctly, along with all of your other life choices.
9. When rice begins to take on "fried" appearance, mix in scrambled eggs, add 1-2 tablespoons of soy sauce and reduce heat to a simmer.

Not bad considering I had no idea what I was doing!

This pseudo-series will have a theme- me throwing things together that were in my pantry. It probably could probably also have some heavy-handed implicit (or explicit) metaphor attached to it, that boiling rice and mixing it with vegetables and oil and vegetables and praying for the best is a lot like life. And it is a lot like life, but that's also a little too heavy for food blog that's full of self-deprecating jokes and recipes found in the depths of the internet.

The point of this recipe is that even if you question whether something is the "right" thing to do, cooking is fun, and sometimes it's fun to go off-roading, to experiment, to try new things and see if they work out well. And luckily for me, this recipe did, and I've had it several times since I initially made it, including bringing leftovers to work for lunch and having a woman waiting to use the microwave compliment how good it smelled. That's a win in my book!

Next week, we will return to recipes that could just be called  "chicken + crock pot = delicious" with slow cooker fajitas, as instructed/inspired by one of those viral Facebook recipe videos from Tasty. Until then, thank you for reading, and I hope enjoyed this slightly subdued post. A reminder that for the rest of March, I will be posting once per week, (and most likely!!) on Wednesdays. I will return to the biweekly, Tuesday and Thursday schedule in April. If you have any comments or suggestions for me, please feel free to post below or send them to dontexpectmiraclesblog@gmail.com.

Moving Foods: A Series - Buffalo Pulled Chicken Sandwiches

Quickest update ever- I moved. I completed my internship and graduated and I moved across the country to a city I'd never spent more than two weeks in. I moved and got a job and a dog and survived my first southern "winter storm" and did a milk-and-TP-and-bread run and I love every bit of my life here.

I also just moved into what will hopefully be one of my last temporary living situations. See, in the last three years, I have moved a grand total of seven times (eight times if you count the two times I moved all of my belongings into a storage unit between leases as .5 a move). I'd like to think that I've become an expert on moving- there's a timeline that's full of procrastinating and packing and repacking and trying use up all the food in the house so that I don't have to move it.

That's what today's recipe is- I had buffalo sauce, frozen chicken breasts, and some of those random seasoning packets that just seem to appear out of thin air, and I magicked it into an edible recipe! Here we go, let's see if I remember how to do this.

For this recipe, you will need:

• 2-3 Chicken breasts (will make 6-8 sandwiches)
• 1 Ranch dressing packet
• 1 cup Buffalo Sauce
• Hamburger buns
• Crumbled blue cheese 

1. Remember to defrost chicken. I know, you're all saying BECCA YOU HATED USING BAG CHICKEN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU shhhhhhh. It's fine, totally fine. I have made peace with frozen, in-a-bag chicken and I actually prefer using it in slow-cooker recipes now. 
2. Rinse and trim said chicken. 
3. Place chicken breasts in a clean mixing bowl, cover with ranch seasoning. Turn chicken breast over and repeat. If using only two chicken breasts, I would try and use only about 1/2 the packet on this step. Save 1/4-1/2 of the packet for later. 

   

   Me, failing to pour ranch seasoning uniformly
4. Place chicken breasts in your slow cooker, then pour on 1 cup of your buffalo sauce of choice, or until all chicken is nearly submerged. 

   

   ~Artsy Picture of me pouring buffalo sauce onto raw chicken~

5. Put on the lid, set some sort of timer for somewhere between 3-4 hours (low) or two hours (high). Then walk away and watch TV or do homework or do chores or finish unpacking like you've been telling your parents you will for at least two weeks now. 
6. Just kidding. About halfway through the total cook time, go ahead and give it a stir, just to make sure that it doesn't burn. 
7. 
   
8. At the end of your desired cook time, remove the chicken breasts and shred on a plate. Reintroduce to buffalo sauce. Guys I'm getting so good at shredding chicken, it's unreal. Definitely my "Most Improved Skill" since starting this blog over a year and a half ago. 

   

   No but seriously, I'm getting so good at shredding chicken.

9. Pour in the rest of the ranch dressing packet now that chicken is shredded for maximum flavor (I mean, if you want, I'm not the boss of you) and give it a few more stirs before serving.

   

   Finished product, sans celery because of reasons